Alright, alright... Its been sometime since I've blogged. Sorry for the delay of updating my blog. I do hope that you'd forgive me for not "updating" my blog so frequently as before...
It's been a rather busy time for me in the last couple of days. Work, classes and Church stuffs were so much that I've had little time to record down what happened so far...
For the past couple of weeks, I've been rather harsh on both Ron and JJ. I do not want them to be where they are and I'd really want them to go up to another level of maturity. I do not know if they'd understand but from what I perceive, it so happens that.. they still do not know what's going on in my mind.
Of late, after what happened, I do not know if I am being sensitive or what. I kind of felt a distance between Ron, JJ and myself. I just do not know what's going on but I do wish that the relationship between the three of us will be better. (I'm not saying that I'm having problems with them.)
Maybe they think I do not know what they are thinking about. How they feel etc... Maybe I might not be able to fully comprehen what they feel and how they feel. However, I do have an interest in their hearts.
I've written down a list of prayers for Ron, JJ, HaoJun, Rodney, Karen, Calvin Chan, Benjanmin, Peter and some others too... not forgetting myself. I do really pray that everyone in the cell group will be more united and respect each other, especially those younger ones towards the elder ones.
I do really want to see revival in N20. Without each other's support, the cell would not be able to function on its maximum potential. It's just like an army without communications and operations. If a leader is leading but the people under the leader refuses to listen but wants it their way, how can a leader lead?
Yes, though someone did say that if a leader leads, yet no one's following, that person ought to give up leading... Am I suppose to do that? Seeing that they are heading to nowhere? Am somewhat discouraged by what they are doing...
Actually, am rather burdened. Burdened about cell group, each individual's personal lives, my work, family, finances etc... I reall need someone to talk to or someone whom I can trust... Whom I can gt advices from.
After hearing what Pastor Kong preached, I felt somewhat relieved but I felt that I need to do something for the cell. I want to see more of them in the cell being on fire for God. Not for the wrong reason. Not for wanting to be a leader or other motives but purely for God. I really want to serve each and every one of the members and I really need to know how.
WorkAs for work wise... So far, work's been rather great! I've been enjoying my life at work and enjoying a great deal of favour from my collages. They are understanding and helpful too. Although I do not know much about the industry, I've been doing my best to learn an pick up whenever I can. However, I guess I must really be omre diligient in my work but not only in work but in every aspect of my life!
Personal lifeMeanwhile, I've been rather weighted down today by some thoughts. Things like myself... My attitude etc... I felt that I've not been praying as much as before even though I do want to pray but I simply cannot muster the ability to pray like before. Also, I felt that I'm back to my comfort-zone once again. I want someone to push me but... I don't like pressures... Sigh... I need to do something about my life... I guess it all goes back to my attitude. My attitude in life and my pespective in life too!
My prayer:My Father in Heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done. On earth as it is in Heaven in my life today. Forgive me of my trespasses, sins and iniquities. Forgive me, just as I forgive my debtors.Father God, I've sinned against You and have been carrying bad attitude, bad example, bad testimony and have been very slacked in the things given to me. I've not been diligent in my life and have sinned as I did not have much faith in things that I put my hands into.Father God, You said in Your Word that without Faith, it's impossible to please You. I pray that Lord, today, forgive me for being such a let down. I've fumbled in my life but God, You did not give up on me. Time and again, You've trusted and believed in me. Help me Oh God, to be a better man for Your Kingdom. Help me shine like never before. Take away this stinking attitude of mine and keep my heart pure, always.Do not let anyone take my heart away from You. Do not allow my heart to go astray. I admit that Lord, there are times I do hope to be attached but I pray that You forgive me. Help me to stay focus of the things meant to be done this year.Oh God, I do not want to miss the moment You have for my life. Here I am, begin to use me. Hear the cry of my heart. Hear the cry of Your servant. Deliver me and help me oh God. Grant me strengt and the ability to focus on You and You alone.Father God, I believe in You. I believe that You will help me and have heard my cry. I thank You oh God, for listening to my prayer, though it's written in my blog. By Faith, I know, You have heard my prayers and have done according to what I have prayed. To help me to be a more dilligent person who will love You more than anything. Who will be focus in the direction You have set for my life. Father, I pray that everyday, I will be in Your plan and purpose. Speak to me about Your plans. Give me dreams and visions today. Let me run the race for You alone only.So God, I thank You once again, for Your love and amazing grace upon my life. Blessing, honor and glory belongs to You foreverr. In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen!
