a My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing): October 2005

My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing)

A daily record of events that happened in my life or things that were brought to my mind and thus recorded. This site is to help me rememeber events and goals. How I used my time; my walk with God; my perspective in life, friends and family members... This blog also serves as a reflection of myself and what I have been wanting/ struggling with/ yearning for/ my up's and down's of life. Do sit back and walk this journey on how I walk life with FAITH and HONESTY with God.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

My thoughts for the day...

What happened in Church today was a real shocker. I mean it’s not those unpleasant shocks but something which one would never hear of or anticipated. Also, what happened do open up my eyes to see what kind of person I am respecting in Church.

In a nutshell, whatever Pastor informed the Church about, he has certainly raised up the standards and my respect of him. I salute him COMPLETELY!

After service, I did not really join my cell group for dinner or other fellowship stuffs. One thing that I felt about the cell is that I feel like I’m distancing myself from the cell group. I’m glad that people like Rickson rose up in cell. I was worried for a moment about the cell for good reasons but now, I see that God has made it all well.

In any case, I’m really glad as HaoJun is back to join us for service. After a period of time, he’s finally back. I do pray with all my heart that the sermon which Rev Robb Thomson preached did make an impact upon his life. Same goes for Makus, Alvin and various others who are either new in Church or are irregulars.

One thing for sure, that the entire event did impact me!

I do not know what’s happening to me. I feel like I’m so unstable. One moment, I’m like feeling so close to God and the next, I feel that I’m no longer filled with the joy of the Lord.

I remembered once so ever clearly that Alan (who was my Bible School classmate but is now a leader) once told me that he could sense the joy of the Lord in me. Even the people in my previous workplace in cartel told me that they would feel happy when they see me or are with me. However, right now, I doubt I have that presence at all. I’ve lost it all.

I seriously need to “revamp” my life. I need a change. I need someone to come and help me and guide me badly. I do not want to fall back to my previous lifestyle. I WANT to advance on with God.

Even during the pre-service prayer meeting, when Pastor told the congregation to pray with one another, I did not have that concentration/ anointing or flow. I prayed like I’m new to prayer. Something is seriously wrong somewhere. Something is amiss! I need the Presence of God once again in my life.

I remember so ever clearly during my bible school days that I experienced God so much. He was so real and so faithful to me. I know He never changes. Whatever I am reflecting on this blog, is what He wants me to say to myself. He wants me to remind myself what I’ve said during Bible school days as well as what He’s seen me through…

I need that passion, that fire, that FIRST LOVE for God once again. I desperately need the Presence of God in my life once again. How I want to write songs to sing of His love, His wonderfulness, His Faithfulness etc… I want Him like never before…

After service, I went on to meet Philip, Jane, Leon, YuPing and Jessy at Chinatown for Salsa. Yes, I DO LIKE Salsa but it seems so difficult to me. Anyway, when I was there, I kept thinking about God. How am I to get back the Presence of God, where did I fall and what was preached by Rev Robb.

I did not really enjoy myself but kept thinking about God… God, how am I to get back that relationship which I’ve spoilt? How am I to draw near to You? I mean, I drew myself away and did not come back. Yes, I did say that I’ll praise You regardless of the situations I am in… Is this a test for me? Is this blog a prophecy of myself, for this year; a time of testing and molding?

Oh Lord God, I come before You in Jesus’ name, just as I am a sinner and a backslider. I know I have sinned against You and have hurt You.

Lord I ask that You forgive me of my sins, iniquities and transgressions. I have been foolish and have not been spending time with You. Today, I ask that You come into my life once again.

Lord God, I give my commitment to You again, on this altar I stand. Lord, come into my life once again. Fill me with Your Joy, Hope and Your Precious Love once again.

Holy Spirit, I have done things which grieved You and have done You injustice! Forgive me of my foolishness. Come and fill me once again. Teach me the ways of God and draw me closer to God everyday.

One thing I ask, is that Your Presence will never leave me nor forsake me.

So Father Lord God, come fill me once again with Your Holy Spirit. Take me deeper in love with You. Let me be on fire for You once AGAIN. I want to love You MORE each day.

I thank You, for I know, You’ve heard the desire and prayers of Your Child. Lord Jesus, I thank You! I know You’ve interceded on behalf of me to Father God even before I asked.

I thank You and I love You. Praise be Your Holy Name. Blessed are Your people. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen!

posted by Calvin Chung @ 3:57 AM  


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Breakthrough!

Wow! I’m so excited! I’ve finally got my breakthrough!!!

It’s like this. I’ve been working in a Professional fundraiser since I’ve left Philips Electronics. It was about on the 10th that I started work in this line. Seriously, it’s not an easy job to go around asking people for donations.

In the midst of these, I find it a joy! I’ve not let money be the source of my strength but God. Although, I’m not really feeling well as I’m down with slight cough, I am still glad!

Oh yes, before I proceed on further with the events that happened today, I’ve something interesting yet puzzling but really ironic, that happened to me on Tuesday night…

Instead of going out with Alexus (she cancelled the movie outing with me), I went out with Jasmine to watch “Deuce Bigalow” at Bishan. When we bought our ticket, something happened. Something which… Many who hears this… will surely faint OR get stumbled by the entire incident…

The ticket salesgirl actually asked the both of us to show our identifications!!! It’s a M18 show and for goodness sake, of all people, me? Gosh!!! *faint*

That is really the ultimate! It’s really hilarious to both Jasmine and me. We are all more than 18 but yet… Come on man… Do I really look that young? Do I? I know I do not look like 27+ OR turning 28 but, below 20? It is impossible, right? Come on… Don’t get me hurt… Please!

Anyway, back to what happened today…

God is really faithful. Although I did not get much of donations compared to the rest of the people in the group, I was glad that God did provide for me and helped me when I needed His help the most.

When I reached office earlier in the morning, Chris told me that if I do not get anyone donating, I’d need to stop with what I am doing and leave the company. Carolyn and Jane did not give up on me. Although the Chris Tan and Jeremy gave up on me, both Carolyn and Jane did not.

The best thing which I found out about both Chris Tan and Jeremy is this. Both of them are the ones who just talk the talk. They talk about wanting to help me but they just company me till the time is up. However, what the girls did really impressed me, especially Jane. Whenever I get someone to stop by to listen to me talk, she would come and assist me. She’s unlike Jeremy, who will come by, talk to the donor and then take that donor as if he stopped the person. Jane and Carolyn did open up my eyes. I really thank God that I did not listen much to both Chris Tan and Jeremy. If not, I’d have not have seen both sides of the coins.
Both Jeremy and Chris Tan did talk about helping me out etc but it was the girls who did the help most of the time. However, the most help given to me was none other than God, Himself. He is really awesome! I’m glad that I was also able to preach to both Jane and Carolyn. I do hope and look forward that they will be influenced by me.

Also, I have another thing to “report” here. The “cold-war” which I had with my dad is over! Yay! I’m so glad that its all over. Just as I expected it to be, my mum came and talk to me about how my dad felt and it was my dad who tried to talk to me. I’m happy not because I won but because I know that my dad loves me very much.

God is really GOOD. I’m saying these not because I have had the breakthroughs but because He is indeed GOOD. REGARDLESS of the things He’s done in my life, I’ll still praise His Holy Name for He is a GOOD GOD!

posted by Calvin Chung @ 9:45 PM  


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Being a childish fool I was…

You’ve not read wrongly. Yes, I am calling myself one for one very good reason: For the fact that I am really blind and really foolish to be thinking about other things while things are being laid down clearly for me.

Yes, I had deleted one page of my blog for a very good reason. I was real blind, childish and I’ve spoiled the reputation of my leader/ leaders. I really felt it was really appropriate that I ought to apologize to Sister Gillian and those whom I had mention in my blog. I was a fool that I did not see the light of it.

The unhappiness inside of me had taken hold of me and thus, I reacted to the unhappiness, forgetting the fact that I was entrusted with a lot of things in the cell. I was really blind, not to see that I was being handed things which I was not trained.

Out of the “out-break” I realized something about me:
- That I am still childish;
- I was being very egoist; that I thought that I knew it all but, in fact, knew nothing much;
- I found out that I am still weak in certain areas. Perhaps, that’s the answer from God when I asked Him what to change within me a couple of week back, to be a better man;
- That I still have that hot temper within me.
- That I have been rather proud and too arrogant

I really beseech forgiveness from the parties involved and I do really want to be changed for the better.

Apologies to:
Church members, Pastor Aries and Sister Gillian,

I, hereby, apologize to you for writing nasty stuffs about you before finding out the truths. I was not being careful and responsible for writing and posting those nasty stuffs about the things I wrote a couple of days back. I ask for you forgiveness.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 10:39 PM  


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Sunday, October 09, 2005

God... Is WONDERFUL!!!

I’ve gotten to know this Sister from Friendster a couple of days ago. She is from Church and it’s been a pleasure to be able to know her.

After meeting her for the first time, she gave me an impression that she’s very generous and very nice! I can’t believe it! She really blew my mind off! She bought 15 books for her cell group members as she felt God asked her to do so! Obediently, she bought the books (I helped her in the choosing of books). What happened after she bought the books was really amazing! It also shows to me that God is real and that He rewards! It’s His desire to see His people live in prosperity!

After watching a show with her, we chatted on MSN. She emailed her testimony of what had happened in her life and I tell you, she is one strong woman! I’ve never seen anyone who is able to handle the situations she did. I’ve heard of people who trust God but have not seen someone, at such closeness.

She left God sometime back and has not been attending Church for years. During these years without God, she has been losing businesses, money etc... In the end, she’s left with $1.34 in her bank account. For some reason, she began to remember God.

Felt led, she turned on her internet and began to surf the City Harvest’s website and clicked on the “live” service which was going on then. While the Pastor was challenging, she felt a voice telling her to check her account. (It has been sometime that she’s not had proper meals and has been surviving plainly upon bread. Knowing of how much she had, she initially did not want to go check but felt that she’ll do it anyway). She discovered that there was an additional $20 in her bank and began to ponder what to do with the $21.34 in her bank.

Upon hearing the message the Pastor was sharing, she felt challenged and sowed the $20 in tears, though she had the choice to choose what to do with the $21.34. She sow the entire $20 to the Church and was stunned as she began to come to mind that she’s not been having proper meals for the past couple of weeks.

However, something happened! After she sowed the $20, on the third day, her friend called her up and informed her that someone wanted to get some work done and referred the job to her. The offer was amazing! It was a $4000 job offer for a website design. God came true to her!

Before she could start with the project, another project came in. This time, another $4000 job offer! Before she could even end the first job offer, a third job offer came in. All these happened three days after she gave her all to God.

Right now, she’s living a life of abundance and trusts God fully. I’m so glad for her and so amazed of how God came true for her. Deep within my heart, I was thinking “God, when is my turn? I need a breakthrough too. I am also in debts too and need You to come through in my life too as I want to fulfill the building fund as well”

That happened about two months ago! Glory to God!

Something happened after she bought books for her cell group members. The shares which she bought went up! The share has been stagnant for sometime and has not been doing well too. However, after she bought the books for her members, she made a need profit of S$5000! How neat is that???

God is indeed a good God. He never short changes those who love Him.

I am really glad to know a friend like her and am glad that God came true for her. I’m sure my breakthrough is on the way to me!

posted by Calvin Chung @ 2:13 AM  


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Friday, October 07, 2005

God is Judged!

I really thank God! He is righteous and just!

I was rather annoyed with what Mr Hon told me the other day. He refused to pay me any OT pay etc… He told me to talk to Jennifer, the Human Resource Personal about wanting me to pay the company back as I went on leave without being approved.

Ok, I was in the wrong to leave without getting it all approved but I thought they’d call me up? How was I to know? I really have lots of wrong information fed to me. Feel so annoyed and so frustrated. Instead of venting my anger, I turned to God and seek His advice.

Yesterday, I told Jennifer about the entire case and some stuffs about the over time pay and what was it for. After lifting to God, He turned my situations around! Jennifer called up to inform me that they would be paying me OT pay and that instead of paying the company about $300 odd, I only need to pay back $83! I am pondering if I should fight the case as they were not willing to let me claim the previous month (August) OT pay. If I were to be able to claim it, they would need to pay me additional cash! However, I’d leave it unto God.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 12:49 AM  


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

End of another chapter… BUT

I really did not want to write much about this as I am not proud of this matter at all. Nonetheless, I am sad to announce that I have ended my time with Philips just last week.

I am sad because I seem to be unable to hold on to any jobs at all. I feel so discouraged and so lousy. It seems that I am not even capable of doing things properly. However, after talking to some of the colleagues, I was encouraged as they said that they enjoyed working with me while I was there. Thank God for them.

I have this to confess… Yes, I did once felt that I did not find any form of breakthroughs over there and I felt that there’s no future in that place. I felt sad that I left, mainly is because I was kind of comfortable over there as I was able to surf the net, go on MSN, play games and even update my blog from time to time.

Maybe, this is a good change for me. That, I’m not sure but I trust that God knows what’s best for me!

Before I left the job, I went for a couple of interviews. In fact, I went for two interviews. One was with an agency (I went with Jane on the 29th Sept) while the other, was with a company named Vision X (Interview was on 28th Sept).

Minutes before Jane called up to talk to me on the 30th of Sept, I received a call from Chris. He informed that I’ve been selected for the job and asked when I could start work. I told him that I am only free on Thursday 6th Oct and he was ok with it.

Moments after he hung up, Jane called up to inform me that she’d be going off to Thailand with Leon, her boyfriend. When I told her of the news, she was surprised at how God worked in my life and was greatly encouraged by the works of God. All that I have been telling her about was not in vain. Indeed, God is doing a work in my life and He will never let those who trust in Him be ashamed.

I could remember the excitement of my beloved friend Jane. She sounds so happy for me when I broke the news that I’ve found another job even before I left Philips. I felt so glad, because, finally, someone was there when I was happy! Finally, I am not treated that I am being boastful but really sharing my joy with another friend.

(I have been treated as a proud person whenever I had good results during my Secondary School days and since then I’ve not been going around, sharing my joy with others. Instead, I went around hiding myself instead of sharing that joy. Actually, with friends like these who’d rather that you did not do well, I’d rather not have them. Who needs a friend who discourages you? What I’d really want is someone who’d share my joy and tears. Is that really that hard? Seems so to me…)

At the end, I really thank God for His faithfulness. He really answers prayers. He is NEVER LATE nor is He ever early. He is always in time!

When we honor God, He will surely honor us back. He came true for me. I am sure He will come true for you too! Trust in God!

posted by Calvin Chung @ 1:36 AM  


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com