a My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing): April 2005

My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing)

A daily record of events that happened in my life or things that were brought to my mind and thus recorded. This site is to help me rememeber events and goals. How I used my time; my walk with God; my perspective in life, friends and family members... This blog also serves as a reflection of myself and what I have been wanting/ struggling with/ yearning for/ my up's and down's of life. Do sit back and walk this journey on how I walk life with FAITH and HONESTY with God.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

In spite of all...

Well, what can I say? I confess up... I was offered a job by Spectacle hut on friday. Alas, despite the fact that I was in a way suppose to go for my first day training with them later on, I guess I have to give up this job.

I had to choose between God and job. I know this is silly but I'd rather choose God than to job. I thought I could work in this line as a full timer yet, they needed someone who could work on weekend. Weekend... my most precious time where I can fellowship with others as well as to serve God.

First, the job with my grandpa... then... MyGym, till now, no news from them... guess they do not want me there... then comes to Spectacle Hut... I wonder how long more should I stay unemployed. Correction... I should say, how long should I be a part time tuitor?

I felt rather frustrated. Can't work full time yet as I have not found one. Then, when I think I can work, I have to give up... On God? NO WAY!!!

I really need to pray more and ask God for favour and grace. So that I'd be able to get a job soon. I'd never want to take insurance as I can't be in it. Even if I can be in this line, I'd not want as I am not cut out for this line. In short, I'd trust God and God alone. He is my provider and Him alone shall I trust only. Regardless of what will happen, I do not want to forsake my Lord and Saviour.

TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
LOOK FULL IN HIS WONDERFUL FACE
AND THE THINGS OF THE EARTH WILL GROW STRANGELY DIM
IN THE LIGHT OF HIS GLORY AND GRACE

Alot of things happened today. I went SGH for treatment on my ankle, then met up with JJ for lunch and even wanted to get something for Sherman. After that, we went down to SimLim to get my laptop's power adaptor, back home, off to tuition with WeiKeong and Bryan then to teach Calvin.

Amongst all lessons, the one which I had to teach WeiKeong was the one which disappoints me most. Great, disappointments in a day. What's more to come? Any worse? Devil, come and attack all you want. Though I may be in the pit of the valley of life now, I will still trust in God and Him I will look onto. You are nothing to me. Devil, I rebuke you in Jesus' name. Get out of my life. I bind your works in my life. I command you to stop all your works against me.

No weapons formed against me shall prosper. No kingdom raised against me shall stand. I shall be the head and not the tail. Above and not beneath. I'd be BLESSED in my coming and going out!!! In the mighty Name of Jesus!

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Felt so down earlier that I SMS Pastor Aries and asked him stuffs. I guess he felt that I am feeling down and I am really glad to have known such a wonderful Pastor and friend. My heart was really refreshed when he said that he will help me keep a look out for job opportunties. Even if he did not help me, that thought alone would have really greatly encouraged me.

I'm easy to please eh? Well, I'm easy-going. :P Anyway, I was asked to pose as someone's boyfriend. It's funny though because just when I thought that I want to keep myself for God's purpose till end of the year, things happens. I really pray that God will give me the preserverance to keep myself till 2006.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 1:14 AM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Monday, April 25, 2005

Busy busy busy...

It's been a real busy day. From the morning all the way till the end was so packed.In the late morning, I was supposed to meet up with Rickson and his friends to take the shuttle bus but I was late as I did not know that the public buses down to Serangoon central would take such a long time.

Anyway, I missed the bus but there was something good out of it. I met JingMei at the bus stop and had a great conversation with her. Although I kind of like looked tired and felt very drowsy, I enjoyed the chatting with an ex-classmate whom I knew like 11years back. Gosh... 11 years!!! Can't believe it!!!I'm really aging... :(

Haha... good thing about the conversation was not the content. It's like when she was my classmate, I never talked much to her. Not that she was't attractive but because I seldom talk in class. :P

When I reached Church, it was about 1115hrs. I was so pressed for time as I need to be in Sister Gillian's place for a meeting with the rest of the helpers in cell at 1130hrs. Instead of panicking, I prayed. It's reallycool to pray even when I don't feel like it. Whenever prayers are made when I least felt like it, God will do something. He did for me. =) When I reached Sister Gillian's place, I was just on time. I was actually 3 mins earlier.

When I reached her place, she was preparing food for us. I helped her and got the food done. Before the food was done, Qiuping and ChengHao reached but both Derek and ChangChin was late. Sigh... There'sso much to do yet they...

Oh well, what to do? I thought there would be more time to be spent travelling but I was wrong. The entire meeting started at about 12.30 and ended at about lose to 1610 Yes, it was a long meeting but it's a little way too long.

Sherman, Rickson and JingJie was waiting for us at Orchard area to celebrate Sherman's birthday since 3pm onwards but we were not able to make it. So, after the meeting ended, th five of us took a cab down to meet up with them, to celebrate his birthday. However, when we reached, it was about 1650 close to 1700. The actual meeting with Sherman, Rickson and JingJie was at about 1705.

I was supposed to meet up with LiLian to go guitar lessons at 1630hrs but I called off the meeting and asked her to go ahead without me. Thank God that lesson starts at 1800 but because of the birthday boy, Sherman, I stay till 1730hrs before I went off for lessons. I was feeling rather tired when I was with them... I'm not tired of them but alright, I was a little unhappy that they delayed so much time, came late for the meeting with Sister Gillian and in the end, I can't even celebrate Sherman's birthday. I felt the trip was wasted and a waste of money too.

Anyway, I rushed down to CityHall and on my way, I met up with Pierre, my ex-cell group member and a close brother of mine. Had a good conversation with him and when I was talking to him, sleepiness crept into me. I admit I was alittle stoned when I was talking to him and wasn't even able to concentrate on where am I heading to. In the end, I missed my stop and wasted sometime to get to CityHall.

I thank God that I was able to reach CHEC on the dot but I felt bad too. Being the monitor of the class, I was late and needed the sisters to get the things ready for me, I really felt bad. I really pray that from the next lesson onwards, I will not be late anymore. I don't want to be late anymore too.

After lessons, I felt more relaxed. No more place to go nor anymore place to rush to. I wanted to wait for David after lessons for dinner/ supper but their meeting took a long time. While waiting, I was with Michelle, a classmate, practicing our newly learn strummings. It was fun though, to be able to practice with her. That's what I find. Actually, I enjoyed her company and I think she also enjoyed my company too...

posted by Calvin Chung @ 1:37 AM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Recap on what happened...

It was an awesome time to be able to pray with JingJie, Ron, Markus, HaoJun and Benjamin at my place. It's more impressive to realize that Benjamin, HaoJun and Markus were very new in Christ and much more, HaoJun wants to accept Christ into his life today!

I was very excited and pleased to know that they are so excited for God. I really wish that everyone of them, especially HaoJun,Ben and Markus would not be in Church just for fun or for the excitements.

When we were praying, I was playing the guitar and in a way, encouraging them to pray. Then what pleases me and made me glad was not the way I played the guitar. It was the fact that JingJie and Ron rose up to the occasion and prayed. Not only that, they prayed for Markus, HaoJun and Ben. It was such a wonderful time spent with them... I believe all of us met God at the very same time.

In Church, Pastor taught about seed time and harvest times. It's really amazing on the type of things Pastor saw... It really explodes my mind...

After service, while felowshipping with the rest of the cell, JJ came up to me and told me things about Peter and what he did. I'm disappointed with Peter. He don't bath or take care of his personal hygiene and keeps scratching his entire body. It's so YUCKS!!! I dont dispise him but he ought to take good care of himself... His toes are like rotting and it gives a terrible smell. He's not even changed when we told him to change...

I felt a little bad after telling him off but I did not mean to hurt him at all. I just want him to clean up himself before going for interview or even coming to Church. It's just that simple. He keeps saying that he's trying to find a job...find? with him coming to a place to look for job with his smell? Who will wanna employ him? :(

I feel very disappointed in him yet I want to help him. What I can do is this much. The entire cell have helped him more than once and he's like taking everyone for granted. Leeching of everyone and anyone... I do hope that what I said to him will go into his head.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 2:13 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Monday, April 18, 2005

Fellowship of the.... Guitar???? Duhzzz...

Alright, I'm just being a little lame here. :)

I was on the dot for class. Well, my classmates were really funny though. I wasn't feeling well last week and thus, was unable to attend class. When I reached, they were all playing a song and I was really happy for them but I was feeling sad cause I felt I need to catch up alot more. Felt pressurized.

After class, I returned the music stands. After which, I returned to class. Then something funny happened. I was talking to Jamie about the lesson I missed last week and from a distance, Catherine asked if I needed help to return the music stands. I was rather surprised because I returned everything before talking to Jamie.

After sometime, I realized that she was refering to my bag. It's also black in color and from far, it resembles the 8 music stands. I really thank God for such a helpful sister. :)

Then, David came and asked if I wanted to join him for dinner. (I was supposed to have tuition but I cancelled the tuition after David asked if I wanted to have dinner with him and the rest of the instructors)

After cancelling the tuition, I told David and waited for him, together with (I think the girl's name Michelle) and some other sisters. So, while waiting, we were practicing guitar together as there would be an assessment next week. I find that she's rather interesting... Cause she's like so eagar to learn and practice guitar.

A couple of tens of minutes passed by. David and the rest of the instructors finished their meetings and we went bugis for dinner. I was really gald that I was able to fellowship with the instructors in guitar class. Also, I was able to fellowship with David, a brother whom I got to know through SOT.

We had a good time fellowshipping and talking to each other. Some of the things he spoke to me really woke me up. I need to find a job and not slack around anymore.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 1:23 AM   1 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Thursday, April 14, 2005

A little something different.... God's presence

Today’s happenings are simply too awesome that I really need to record it down. One of the facts was that, despite the fact that I've just had an hour's or so of rest... I was filled with energy throughout the entire day. From the time when I woke up at 3am till even now. The entire experience was simply phenomenal!

After watching the match between Liverpool, Lyon, PSV and Juventus, I actually wanted to fall asleep but somehow, I just couldn’t sleep. I’ve turned and tossed about on my bed, on the couch, my parent’s bed and all, I wasn’t able to fall asleep.

God prompted me to do something which I never regretted doing, which was to pray. I did as I felt led and went on praying. Even though it was a short while, I felt wonderful and more alert after that.

Before I could even try to sleep another time, it soon turned 7am. I got myself off bed and began to prepare for the day. Oh yes, I was supposed to go for the “interview” and see how things goes on in “My Gym”. So, while preparing, I kept on praying. Starting from the start of my parent’s business in the wet market, my family members to the day which I intend to spend my time. Every plan I think I would be having was prayed through. It was a wonderful time praying and talking to God. Especially, with my heart and soul OPENED to Him since yesterday morning’s prayer.

Right from the start of my journey, down to “my gym”, to the arrival of Ubin, Penny and the others was simply cool and wonderful. I noticed something around me too. People started to look at me as if I am some… ermm… strange aliens. Maybe I was perspiring too much but in the work place? Hmmm…

I’ve received three kinds of reactions from the kids at My Gym when they saw me. Reaction one, simply ignored me due to the pleasures of the games and fun they were having. Reaction two; they were too afraid of my presence and some of them even cried while playing, for nothing. They did not get hurt nor did anyone fight with them. None fell and injured themselves. The third kind, stuck to me like super glue. It was so hard to get them to go home!

Before I knew it, it was time for lunch. I was famished! So were the rest of the guys. Lunch with them was good and I got to know something about them too. They are real nice people with a great attitude.

After lunch, Ubin told me that I am free to leave as he did not want to tire me out. As such, I left earlier than planned, met up with JJ and Ron for a show. It has been sometime since I last saw them. I really wonder if they will be glad to see me, though I still feel rather weak in the body.

It was a wonderful time spent and it was great to have them to be my friends and brothers. I really want them to excel in their studies and do appreciate them deeply.

Just not too long ago, Ron told me in MSN that he felt God’s presence upon me when he saw me. He felt down but when he saw me, he felt refreshed and energized. I was really glad! I mean, I’m still glad right now! God’s presence upon me is one thing. For the presence of God to be felt by another person and by having God’s presence upon me, touching other’s lives is something which I’ve never imagined myself to have done, though I have that desire before.

Now I understand what was happening to me throughout the day. Prayer and a close relationship with God are important, especially when I am so hungry for Him! I felt that I have given Him the FULL reign of my life.

Yes, though I may still have weaknesses and flaws within me, it does not matter. God is not looking for flaws within us but a heart that’s after Him. A heart that’s willing to YIELD to Him!

I’m so GLAD! I’m so GLAD and I’m SO GLAD that His Presence is UPON ME!!!

Now I understand what it meant when Moses was on the Mountain with God 40days and nightsand how his face SHONE when he came down from the Mountain. God's GLORY and Presence was UPON me today!!! Hallelujah!!!

The JOY of the Lordis MY STRENGTH!!!

posted by Calvin Chung @ 1:48 AM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Discoveries along recovery lane...

Gosh, now I realized what Kaka's dad said was really true. It really amazes me how chinese doctors works. They just feel your pulse and look at your tongue and they know whats going on within one's body.

After blogging yesterday, I went off directly to bed. I was simply too sleepy and in a way, yes, I am weak. However, I did not know how true was it as I thought I was on my way to recovery.

After waking up, I felt led to go to a chinese doctor instead. The first person that came to my mind was Kaka aka Calvin Chan's dad. I called Kaka up and made an appointment with his dad while I may still feel strong to travel.

Though the distance to his place/ shop wasn't long, it sure took alot out of me to get down there. When I reached there, I felt very giddy and almost fainted. Kaka saw me got off the cab and he seems to be smiling. Wondering what he's thinking. Maybe he's thinking that I should take that super bitter medications which he took before. I don't know. However, when his dad saw me, he quickly asked me to take a seat and took my pulse.

When he took my pulse, he said that I am feeling very weak and that I needed alot of rest. The medications that I took from both Tan Tock Seng and the GP was simply too strong for me and thus, my heart beat were racing and pumping like crazy. He told me not to take the full dosage of the medication and to take some brown sugar.

After I gotten the medications, I came back home and quickly took some brown sugar, dissloved with water and gulpped down. It worked! I started to feel much better and was able to last for more than an hour before I went back to bed.

My appetite improved alot and I was able to have a full meal after not having anything for days except Milo and warm water... not forgetting the drips and dosages of needles poking into my body to reduce the rash.

Good things I would like to thank God about during this period of time is that I get to witness alot of stuffs. Firstly, how much I mean to my family. Remember I was ranting about why my family members this and that when I quit my job etc?

Secondly, I realized that I have found a place in my cell member's heart. When I was there, I was the one who also helped booked the seats etc. They would call me up to ask if I have a seat for them etc. To me, these are not important. The most important thing is that my cell members do care and shower concern for me. That's what I really needed.

Thirdly, I thought I was just a face in the class of guitartist. However, I was wrong. Jamie, my instructor made that extra effort to asked if I am feeling better after I notified her that I wasn't feeling well.

Fourthly, I knew that I am well covered with prayers by my cell members and leader. This is very vital to every person because prayers are the basis on why things happen in Church and how people are changed.

Last but none the least, I realized that God's been with me all these while. When I called upon His name, He saved me and took me out of my diseases. He is my Healer and He still HEALS TODAY! This is by no means the UTMOST important to me as I really love the Presence of God.

From the very bottom of my heart, I really thank everyone who have prayed for me and those who showed concern for me all these while. I am greatly thankful and touched for all that you've done. People like my family members, JingJie, Rickson, ChengHao, Jamie, Penny, Elyrrolyn, Kaka, Ron and lots more... I pray that God will save those who are yet believers and those who are believers, God will bless them in everything they touch and every path they take. Overall, I pray that the very tangible Presence of God will come touch, prosper, mulitiply and subdue the odds they face.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 7:18 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Monday, April 11, 2005

My heart's willing...

It's been some time since I last updated my blog. I have to apologise to everyone who reads my blog for not updating my blog as Im really sick nowadays. I want to write but my body's feeling extremely weak now.

On the 7th April, I felt a little strange as my body was itching all over. I did bath but I am not really sure what happened. What had I ate wrong? Since then, I've been to the doctors for three times. Twice in hospital and once with a GP.

I"m not sure how long this is going to end but I've not been having much food due to the disease on me and I've not been to service nor have I been to guitar class this entire week. I do really missed everyone in Church and cell.

I would like to chat on phone but the sickness is giving me mood swings and it's been more than 20+ years since I last had this and this seems rather serious to me now. Anyway, thank you for your prayers and I'll be back soon... I do sincerely wish to be back soon...

posted by Calvin Chung @ 4:06 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Food for thoughts

I really couldn't understand it. Why was I not able to rest at all since yesterday? It all seems like one whole day to me. From the 1st till the 2nd of April... Is there any pranks played on me here?

1st April 05
It was a gloomy and rainy day. I am supposed to go for my physiotheraphy at 2pm but I was late. Alright, no excuse for me. I was plain lazy and did not want to even go for my physio. For the fact that I do not want to waste money...

In the end, I did not know how, I managed to get my feet walking to my door step and off into the streets. It was 1.45pm when I left my place to get a cab down but in the end, I was late. So much for my slackness.

By the time I hailed a cab in the rain, it was about 2:15pm. I called up to the appointment centre to inform them that I will be late... Yeah... too late to say that I'm late... I'm really dumb... :(

When I reached there, I somehow waited for about 15mins before the physiotheraphist came to see me. She made some scarstic remarks on me being late... Oh well, I deserved it...

After the apointment, I called up a couple of friends but, they were either too busy to pick up or that I'll end up hearing the dailing tone. Where are all my friends? I really wonder who will I be going out with later. It seems like another normal day to me until JingJie called me and I asked him out, together with Ron, for a show.

The show was a horror show. The Eye 10. I do not trust that much in those spooky stuffs because the One who is in me, is Greater than he than is in the world. One word from the One, this spooky stuffs will FLEE!

It's a rather dumb show and I really wonder why would people curse another without any causes. It seems very silly but evil for someone to curse someone who never do any harm to another.

The entire show's setting was in Thailand. The show seems demonic but dumb. I don't know how to put it into words but it's really funny at the way they do things. Like people being possessed by Spirits, Spirits coming to hunt people... how to look at those haunted stuffs. It's really in fact, a show which shows why would people be DUMB and idiotic enough to want to see the demonic things of the world. Namely, ghosts and especially, the spiritual world, which they have not even understood the things of the world.

Before the show started, I bought three pair of tops for myself and spent about $100 for it all.

Ok, it's not due to the show that got me wide awake all night. I really don't understand. Why am I filled with so much of energy. I even read the bible throughout the night and am still awake till now. I tried to sleep but could not do it. I was suffering from gastric problems.

2nd April
I felt a little jaded and felt as if my bones were cracking with every movement I made. When I was in Church, I managed to complete my Bible reading! Glory unto God.

When the praise and worship started, I felt different. I felt that my entire being'a relfexes were better and that it seems like a source of energy seem to be emiting from me. I felt a change in my body, a recharging sensation.

I was being prayed for and I really love the Presence of God. Pastor preached a wonderful sermon this week. Once again, well done and I am glad to have such a wonderful pastor and to be serving in the Church he is in.

After service, I went on to give the four new friend bible study. It was really cool but I did not feel any fear within or without of me.I felt very peaceful and shared part of my life with them. All of them seemed rather receptive to what I shared with them, though I did not know what did I say to them... I'm really not thinking much within my mind.

Whislt writing down this blog, I feel dizzy and giddy too. I need to rest... I can't... I have not start on my ranting on what my brother, Pierre, asked me. I'm rather not happy that this question have been put on to me for a couple of times by various people. I'm not complaining or anything but I seek their understanding.

Yes, I am still single but I am looking out for a girlfriend. I have not have one yet is due to the fact that I have not found someone I liked. I'm not being choosy or fuzzy. I know that if I want what I want, God will have what I want of the girl.

Secondly, I'm not stable in my finances. How can I have a girl when I am not able to feed myself with the income I make? How can I make my future wife/ girlfriend suffer with me? My heart is crying out... Can anyone hear? Can anyone understand what I feel and how I am thinking...

So what if I liked a girl? She's either attached, too good for me, not interested in me or that she's too tall for me... Sigh... I just have not found one which pleases me... So please, don't ask me anymore. If I were to have one.... I'll have one... but now, it's not the time yet... :(

posted by Calvin Chung @ 12:12 AM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com