My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing): Heart grows cold... forbid it!

My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing)

A daily record of events that happened in my life or things that were brought to my mind and thus recorded. This site is to help me rememeber events and goals. How I used my time; my walk with God; my perspective in life, friends and family members... This blog also serves as a reflection of myself and what I have been wanting/ struggling with/ yearning for/ my up's and down's of life. Do sit back and walk this journey on how I walk life with FAITH and HONESTY with God.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Heart grows cold... forbid it!

Yes, I am feeling a little cold in heart. A little disappointed in things that I am looking and hoping for... IE: Relationships... Also am feeling a little kind of empty within... I want to write and even sing, yet I lost the ability to sing out and to compose...

I notice something about myself... Whenever I am glad, I would have the ability to write songs.. At times, when I am sad, I would have more ability to write songs compared to the "normal" times I have.

Ok, shall not go off track this time... Oh yes, I am feeling cold in my heart cause maybe I expect things too much or that whatever I had in the past was way too fast. Or that standard I want is way too high? Or I have met with things which falls below my expectations?

I recognize this feeling! This was the feeling that I once felt so long ago... A longing and a missing of a person. I do not know how but though I am sad that this feeling is entangling me, I am glad as well... The ability for me to fall for someone is now revived!!!

Last night, I went out with Sophia, Dillent and Nick for a show. This was my first time meeting these guys. They were nice people and we went for a show. Batman begins...

Although this is an action show and somewhat fantasy, I did learn something rather important. A realization more than a revealtion. The sentence "Why do we fall?" keeps coming into my mind and the reply was instant. Just as what the reply was in the show "So that we can find our feet once again".

That is it! I fell so many times in the past yet I went from a "shipwreak" to another without resting. However, I did fall from a major relationship in 1999. I killed my emotions there in that year... Vowing never to fall in love or get into another relationship again.

It's really ironic but after 2years, in 2001, I got my feet back again. Praying that God would heal my heart and let me love again. Which He allowed me to love but I forgot that when I love again, I'll fall.

Last year, something happened and I began to understand what is lust and love. The difference and I vow to God, I'll never get myself into that stinking plight again!!!

I will do my best and leave these to God... However, I do not want to fall into the trap of killing my emotions again. Yes, I am found of someone but I will keep on waiting... If she's not the one, its alright with me. I know and I know... God will never short change me. He is my God. He is Elohim God. He created me and knows what is good for me. He allow things to happen in my life so that I learn not to do it again and know that He have a purpose for me in my life. He will not just give me the good or just the best... He will give me the MOST EXCELLENT and WONDERFUL gift... A beautiful, wise and God fearing wife!

God is my PROVIDER!!! In Him I will trust and will give my ALL to Him!!!

Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

About Me

Name: Calvin Chung

Location: Singapore, Singapore

I'm someone who's very ambitious and have big dreams. I inspired to be a singer/ composer/ book writer. I am a Christian and I am NOT ASHAME of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour but I am not worthy to be call a Christian. I've failed Him many times...

MSN: calvynn@hotmail.com

1. Weigh 74kg by end December 2005.

2. BMI level to hit 0% or normal level

3. Physical Fitness â Not panting when I walk up a flight of stairs of 8 levels

1. Ability to handle emotions well and not easily falling in love and getting angry.( In Progress )

2. Handle and overcome stress properly( In Progress )

3. Overcome stage fright and facing people - Have more Confidence ( In Progress )

4. Develop the NINE fruits of the Spirit

5. To think in a wider perspective than personal( In Progress )

6. Develop personal maturity( In Progress )

7. Demand more of ownself than others( In Progress )

8. Esteem others BETTER than ownself but not being fake when confessing it

1. Sharpen bible knowledge â Be more accurate in facts ( In Progress )

2. Improve on guitar skills ( In Progress )

3. Improve on human relational skills ( In Progress )

4. More efficient at work( In Progress )

1. REDUCE debts owed to NTUC, AXA etcâ¦

2. New hand phone â Nokia; which can take photo, play mp3, listen to radio, play games etcâ¦

3. New Guitar Hard Casing

4. ~~New NKJV Bible~~

5. New set of Bed - Single/ Queen Size

6. New Computer Monitor

7. New set of furnitures in room

8. New set of television for parents

9. New bag to match formal dressings

1. Every Sunday and Saturdays, rest for 7hrs each day

2. Do at least a sport once per week

3. Go for movie with friends twice per month

4. Improve on my interpersonal/ communication skills.

1. Ability to create songs to worship God. ( In Progress )

2. Improve on Interior Design drawings

3. Ability to teach Bible Study effectively( In Progress )

4. Disciple those who are placed under my care with effectiveness!

To be UPDATEDâ¦

If Godâs willing, I SHALL ACCOMPLISH all the above mentioned or MORE than what I can think or imagine of! Amen!!!

1. Focus on Jesus rather than girls ( In Progress )

2. To RISE UP in Cell Group

3. To EXCEL in work ( In Progress )

4. To focus on the brushing up skills learnt ( In Progress )

5. Write more songs (At least SIX more worship songs) ( In Progress )

To be UPDATEDâ¦

"Alexus"

"Baby`SOT"

"Chermaine Tay"

"Hui Lan"

"Hui Zi"

Kelvin

"Kenneth"

"LoRd_FoUl aka Afiq"

"Sasa"

"Someone I knew from IRC"

"Xiu Gallery"

"Vernice_Jane"

"Empty"

More to come...

City Harvest (Singapore)

City Harvest (Malaysia)

Manchester United Official Site

~*~*YaHoo*~*~

Friendster

My Space

Guitar4Christ

"Empty"

"Higher Praises"

"Audio Sermons"

"Charles Spurgeon"

"Johnathan Edwards"

"Sy Rogers' article"

"Sy Rogers' Website"

"-"

"Daily Walk With God (2004 - Jan 2005)"

"Sermon "store"

My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing)

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Heart grows cold... forbid it!

0Comments:

About Me

Previous Posts

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Health :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Emotional, Psychological Growth :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Education, Intellectual, Professional :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Material:

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Leisure:

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Creativity :

Current Focus:

My Friends:

My Favourites:

Interesting links:

Other Personal Links::

My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing)

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Heart grows cold... forbid it!

0Comments:

About Me

Previous Posts

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Health :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Emotional, Psychological Growth :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Education, Intellectual, Professional :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Material:

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Leisure:

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Creativity :

Current Focus:

My Friends:

My Favourites:

Interesting links:

Other Personal Links::

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Health :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Emotional, Psychological Growth :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Education, Intellectual, Professional :

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Material:

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Leisure:

GOALS from July to end Dec 2005 â Creativity :