a My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing): February 2005

My Walk with God - 2005 - (Moulding & testing)

A daily record of events that happened in my life or things that were brought to my mind and thus recorded. This site is to help me rememeber events and goals. How I used my time; my walk with God; my perspective in life, friends and family members... This blog also serves as a reflection of myself and what I have been wanting/ struggling with/ yearning for/ my up's and down's of life. Do sit back and walk this journey on how I walk life with FAITH and HONESTY with God.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Last cell... Multiplication... Happiness and sadness

Woke up rather late, as I couldn’t really rest well. Anyway, I woke up at 7am to watch cartoons and after watching it, I went back to bed.

When I woke up the second time, it was about 5pm. Am supposed to go for appreciation dinner and meet them at 5:15pm at Clementi MRT station but I couldn’t make it on time. As a result of my slackness, I got to rush through all my stuffs and prepare to go down to meet the rest of my cell group members at the clubhouse.

After reaching the place, I gave QiWei a call and well, he directed me the wrong way. Almost fell for it. He did not misled me nor did I get the wrong information. It’s just that we were new to that place. Though my ankle felt painful, I am glad that I did not flare up that easily.

Thank God that He led me to the correct place. When I reached there, almost everyone was there except Sister Gillian, Faith and a couple of people. Tired calling Alex but was not able to reach him. Ron, JingJie and the rest of the members were busy preparing for the party and thus, I did not get to talk much with them. John Salim managed to come back on time to join us for the last combine cell group.

Derek, Eugene and ChangChin were busy setting up the projector, sound system and cameras. It looked so professional and it seems that I am in a theatre or something like that. It felt rather good though. Soon, the time struck 6pm and the caterer arrived in the nick of time. I was then able to set up the tables and arrange some of the furniture for the party.

Time flew… Events after events… Clips of video after video, awards after awards, performance after performance passed by. I felt time flew so fast and so many things happened in such a short time.

It was since 2002 July that I first joined my current cell group and the cell’s been barren since February 2000. It has never multiplied but people in the cell changed. Most of them either backslide or have gone to another church. The entire cell went through five years of barrenness and I really thank God that we have finally multiplied!

Though most of them looked happy and were smiling away, deep within each individual’s heart, they were weeping. Especially those who have been in the cell group since day one, they cried… While those not so new, did not weep as they did not develop much feelings with the members of the cell group.

Towards the end of the gathering cum party, we watched a video, painstakingly produced by Derek, Eugene and those unsung heroes, most of us cried. The entire moment seems to have sink deep down within my heart and I know that this will not be the last time this cell group grows. There is tremendous potential in the cell to grow bigger. However this last gathering will be “recorded” and remembered by me as part of the event, which really touched me. Looking at friends like ChengHao, Alex, Kenneth and the various brothers whom I was once close with in the cell going to another group, I know this relationship with these great brothers will not end with the cell group.

I do really pray from the very bottom of my heart that none of these brothers and sisters who went to W322 will not backslide nor will their heart grow cold. I do really pray that they would grow on much more on fire for God and do things that will glorify His name. Besides that, I do pray that the relationship with these brothers and sisters will grow stronger and stronger as time goes by…

As we went home, I sense another sense of anxiety from those in the youth cell (the one, which I’m in). This is due to the announcing of the G.C.E O level results that’s to be announced tomorrow… I pray that these beloved ones will get the results they desire in their hearts.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 11:59 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Saturday service with Rev Ulf and revelations...

This was the third day without the cast on my right leg. Well, it still feels funny though but I guess it’s normal to feel this way, as I have not been using m right leg for 6 whole weeks. The size of my shin area seems to have shrunk quite a little. The scar, made from the operation knife by the surgeon seems to have reddened and I hope that it’s a good sign.

Ron came and we have tuition again. As usual, he was late for the tuition but this time, he was late by an hour. I really wonder what is going to happen in future if it gets on like this. I was especially frustrated because Pastor Kenneth Copeland was to preach in my service (Service Two) and it is expected that there will be plenty of people, especially the youths who will arrive early to queue for the service.

It was about 1pm when the tuition ended. He left and we met up again at about 1:30pm. Man, he is late again. Maybe the time given to him was far too fast. After meeting him, we took a cab down to Serangoon NEL station to meet up with JingJie, Benjamin, Alicia and Andy.

When we reached Church, it was about 3:20pm. Well, I was really astonished, well, not so astonished to see that many people, hungry for the Word of God. Some even arrived Church at about 2:30pm, specially to queue up for the service. Considering that from 11am onwards, there were practices for the Children’s Church ministry’s Backup Vocals as well as Children’s Church, which is at 2:30pm. They are really youths who are hungry and thirsty for God!

All of us went to join the queue and was really perspiring like mad when we got into the main auditorium. This wait was not a bad wait. It was worthwhile as we managed to get seats while there were some who don’t even get to get into the main auditorium. Really thanked God that not only was I able to get a seat but also gotten about 10 members to seat at the same row together.

Before the service started, there was a prayer meeting. When Pastor asked us to pray for the service with Rev Ulf, I still thought that Pastor Kenneth Copeland was gonna preach in the service as notified in the bulletin the present week. Therefore, when Pastor asked us to pray for the service with Rev Ulf, I prayed for Pastor Copeland instead. This is pretty embarrassing as I was praying together with Qi Wei and Jasmine.

In service two, Pastor preached about the calling of God. Our calling from God is Holy and this calling is not only just to ministry but into Salvation. It’s when we were first saved that we received a calling to be saved. After salvation, we are brought into Sanctification, where we grow more and more into the likeness of Christ.

When handled the calling of God, we are not to take this calling for granted. We are to have self-control and discipline to handle, that, which is given unto us by God. Of course, God have given us the free will choice to either use what He’s given or not to. He’s a generous God and will not force anyone to do anything.

Calling is a sense of destiny/ purpose for a person.
Example:
What is the difference between a Cod and a Salmon fish? Yes, they are fishes but there is a difference in the two spices of fishes. Cod is a very huge BUT SLACK fish. It will laze around and be in it’s comfort zone, refusing to do anything. It’s just like many Christians. Who are always sitting at home/ service, doing things only when they are comfortable with or doing things when they find it convenient.

As for a Salmon fish, if you’ve been to where it’s been breed, you’ll find that this fish will always go to a higher ground. They will go against all odds to go to a higher place in life. They do not only “fight” when they are young/ when they have energy. They always strive to go to a higher stream, against the currents. This speaks of those who have a calling in life and they fight for it. They are Christians who are WILLING to BEAR the CROSS of Jesus.

As we look into the Old Testaments, from Genesis all the way to Malachi, you’ll notice something. God never uses those who are perfect or talented. God always uses those who are imperfect, have little or no talents. When these imperfect and none talented people avails themselves to God, God uses them mightily.

Calling of God is not only Holy but also precious and valuable. Let’s look at some of those who lived up to their callings in life despite of the situations around their lives. Let’s look from the bible’s aspect.

Joseph:
Joseph was the second last son of Jacob. He lived up to his calling in life. Though he was a dreamer, he did not dream for the sake of dreaming. He dreamt and trusted in God. When Joseph told his brothers that one day, his brothers and parents would bow down before him, his brothers would bow down before him. They were upset! Instead of encouraging them, they were upset with him. His brothers even plotted to murder him but he was sold off into Egypt instead.

While in Egypt serving in Egypt as a slave, he stayed faithful and prospered in all that he did and was placed to take charge of his master’s belongings. However, the mistress lusted after him, trying to seduce him but failed. He did not give in to her and she in turn accused him of wanting to force himself on her. This event cause Joseph to be placed behind bars for a period of time.

As you read on about Joseph, he did great and mighty things for the Lord. Even when he was behind bars, he was trusted by the Jailer and was made deputy of the jailer. After a series of events, he rose to become the Prime Minister of Egypt and helped made Egypt one of the most powerful nations then.

Esau and Jacob:
From this pair of twins, we can also learn a great deal about the importance of calling and also to recognize that our calling is important! Esau, for a pot of stew meat, sold his birth right to Jacob, his younger brother. Esau gave up his calling of God for the calling of the world. In the end, it’s written in the bible that God despised Esau but He loved Jacob.

He was supposed to bElisha’s servant/ Second In Charge: Gehazi
e the next in line for Elisha, to carry on the ministry of Elisha. He could have had a great ministry if he had not pursued for wealth. Gehazi went for the world and lusted for money. As a result, he became a leper.

Elijah:
Elijah, on the other hand, was an unknown person before the fall of Gehazi. Gehazi’s heart was not right before God. However, Elijah was hungry and thirsty for God. He was also serving God and his heart was right before the Lord.

Satan would never serve others. He wants other to serve him. That is why he led a third of the angels of heaven into rebellion against God. On the other hand, Jesus is not here to be served but to serve. Therefore, we ought to be serving in our ministry/ calling before proceeding onto other works.

When we are serving, we ought to remember that we are serving because of the attention or recognition we get but doing what we are supposed to do. Another thing to remember in mind is that, whenever God wants us to deliver something, he will open up ways and create chances for us.

In conclusion, it all goes to our motives. The points learnt are:
1. We are given the choices to go the right paths (Matthew 7; the broad way or the narrow paths) “Others may do it but I can’t and I refuse to “
2. Who am I going to walk with in order to walk that path?
IE: Environment/ Influence
Four Rights:
Right friends
Right Influence
Right revelation from God
Right leader/leaders we follow.


Wow, I’m amazed! This was supposed to be Pastor Ulf’s sermon and though I recorded it down, I was able to have revelations. I went for two services and this was only the first service I attended. I hope that whoever read this message, will be blessed. Do let me know…

posted by Calvin Chung @ 11:59 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Friday, February 25, 2005

Endless days...

WOW!!! A week's passed. What was I doing all these while? Haha... I'm not backsliding. Just felt this way... Days seems to be the same... opsss... am I really backsliding? Cannot la... Must remember what had happened... Did not have enough rest... Ermm.. Did not really sleep much because I'll start work on the 1st March...

Friday:
All I could remember was that I was supposed to go for a show with Jasmine but she did not called... Hmmm... Nothing much I could remember

Saturday:
Woke up at 2pm and was rushing out to meet Ron, Jingjie and co to go church. When we got to Church, I went to meet Sis Gillian and Faith for the 27th Feb event. Not sure why but I kind of do not like to have meetings. Haha.. Am I getting proud? :(

Pastor preached on "Potter and clay". The entire sermon reminded me of things in life. Am I really getting proud? Do I have things coming out off me? Do I still have unresolved issues in life? Must do a check! Vital!!! Sister Gillian said that Details determine destiny. Interesting! Am reminded that my attitude determines my altitude.

Sunday:
Last cell group for N20. Managed to get Alex down for cell and well, at least he looked happy. It's a challenge to get him down for cell and service. He said he attended service. Well, I shall believe him.

Alex is very interesting. I guess he's something like me. Need to have motivation in order to go cell and services or even do things said. Well, I guess God do place people who are about the same together to mould each other to be better. Iron sharpens iron, remember? :)

It was really fun taking cell in prayer meeting. I noticed that whenever I take these or whenever I talk/ share in cell, the cell either focuses alot of attention on me or that they were keeping silent so as to see if I said anything wrong. I wonder.. I'll look on the brighter side of life! :)

After cell, we did some recordings and well, it's funny though... I think I've been teased by Chang Chin. Its funny though. Fellowship was great and I guess everyone enjoyed. Sharon even came to cell, wearing sunglass. She looked funny though.

****

It seems that the things done on monday were forgotten or that I rested so well that I forgot what I did. Haha... Maybe its due to stress? Anyway, I only remembered that either on monday or tuesday, mum asked me to company her to the market and she sent me back after she reached the coffeeshop downstairs.

Tuesday:
I slept till so late into the afternoon that I did nothing much. Managed to hear the message brought forth by Pastor Ulf. It was about friends. Friendship are for eternity. What if I have friends who are none believers? Sigh... Will I be able to see them or even help them by then? What about family members? I wonder...

I do not want to see them going through a Christ-less eternity... :(

Wednesday:
This was a long day. Have been waiting for this day a long while. Yes, it's time for me to take off the cast! I'm so excited. The queue to Dr Denny Lie was short and it was within 30mins that I saw him.

I am really blessed to have a consultant taking over my case. Afterall, if I were to request that he attends to me, I'd have to pay a private fee of $70 per session. He's the one who did the surgury on me too. Therefore, it's really a blessing for me.

Well, initally, I wasn't used to walking with my right leg because it's been "off the road" for sometime. It's not been exposed to light/ fresh air/ feelings for SIX soild weeks. My poor right leg... It looked dead because of the dead skins covering the entire leg.

Went to watch "A very long engagement" with Mag. The show was alright but a little lame and funny though its a show base on wars. My imaginations ran wild while watching the show. Felt that I was one of the character in the show and it seems frightening though... Anyway, at the end of the day, I enjoyed the show and best of all, Mag did not lose anything at all. It was a good time spent together though I must admit, I did not attend service that day. Was initally not feeling well and leg's feeling kind of weak. Although I did feel the same weakness in my leg but I was glad to be able to fellowship with her then.

Thursday:
Wanted to go for service again but I rested till 6pm... Sigh... How weak am I? Gosh, where's my conviction to go for service? Anyway, I watch services via internet and sigh... "thanks" to my "good" connections and computer problems. I was not able to enjoy the entire service there and then...

posted by Calvin Chung @ 5:13 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Friday, February 18, 2005

~*~*Tiring day... Did I see an Angel???*~*~

Today was one of the most tiring day I had. Met up with Kay and Jane at about 11am and headed down to SGH to get my cast changed. This was the first time I am in Kay's car and also, the first time I saw Jane. Though her photo and her real self is a little different but it's alright... Never judge a book by its cover =)

It was about 1216hrs when we reached SGH (Singapore General Hospital). Thank God that the queue wasn't long and that I was there to get my cast changed. Therefore, I need not queue too long to get it done.

The male nurse joked with me again. Silly him. I will not let anyone draw on my cast again. I will draw it myself. When Jane saw my cast, she was laughing away. When the nurse saw it, he too, laughed. Sigh... What great master-piece I had on my cast... lolx

I tried to create a story about where the stickers went and how my friends drew on the cast. It was funny though. Art of "smoking" people.

The fees for the re-casting was cheaper than the previous times. However, I had to pay for my in sole, which is specially made. It cost $300. My younger sis told my dad and me that I can pay through Medi-shield but when I check it out, they said I can't and wanted me to pay up there and than.

Sigh... thanks to God. If He did not prompt me to bring the extra cash, I'd not be able to pay for my medical fees. However, when I told my dad that I had to pay in cash, he wasn't happy with it. I did something terrible... I lied to my dad that I loaned from a friend to pay up the in soles as I initially wanted to save up that cash to get a new guitar. I feel so bad.

*****

Soon, it was abt 3pm when we reached Great World City. We had our lunch and the ladies were smoking their lungs out. Gosh... I almost died of a lack of oxygen. There we also met up with Jade. (Jade's a friend whom I got to know via IRC but did not get to meet for the past 4yrs) It was a great time spending with them minus the smoking parts.

Jade looks like in her late twenties. Her dress sense looks nice though she had those unfriendly kind of looks. It's not the looks that matters, it's the friendship...

After lunch, we went and shop around. Then... I saw an angel... No no no... Not the Angel of the Lord but... ermm... someone whom I think is nice? =)

I met her when we (Kay, Jane and myself) went to That CD Shop. I did not say I want to go but they wanted to. (Before going there, I felt that I ought to go there and will go there) Anyway, maybe it's coincidence. I dare not say it's from God because I do not want to get into error.

While browsing the CDs, something caught my eyes. Not her. It's theCD title "Air Guitar II" It seems nice and I want to get inspirations from the CD as I want to write songs to sing unto God. While we were there, we spent like an hour or so at the CD shop.

Just when I thought they were done with, I paid for the CD holder and the two CD's which I believe will be able to help give my some ideas. When I was about to go, I realized that Kay was still browsing for some CDs. As a result, I limped around to check if they carry any Christian songs or WOW Worship albums. Just when I was "hoping" around with my huge bag, she appeared and asked if I want to leave the things at the counter before I leave. At that time, I did not really take notice of her. Only thing on mind was "is she a staff here?"

After sometime of "hoping" around, I was unable to find the things I want to look for. So, I went and join up with Jane and Kay. She was introducing some products to Kay when I was with Kay. Then I made fun of Kay and encouraged Kay to get the CDs which, she did not.

So, I went around and saw some movie titles. Out of curiousity, I went and check if they carry an old movie named "The Ten Commandments". To my dismay, they do not have it. Sigh... What a let down...

It was then she came and talked to me. Asking me if I needed a glass of water, if I needed to rest, do I need a seat etc... I mean... The service they... she provided was great. However, sigh... I was silly enough to reject.

After sometime, while waiting for Jane and Kay, I heard them play some nice music and approached her (because she was nearer to me) to ask what kind of song/ music was that. That was the time when she caught my attention more.

Though I do not know her name, I was glad that I did strike a conversation with her. Now, I am confused. Haha... I do not know if she's talking to me as a customer or as a stranger. It was funny how I opened myself to her when she asked whom I came along with... ( I thought she saw Jane and Kay with me?) Anyway, I told her the truth. That I met with my IRC friends and she smiled.

After buying two more CD's, we left the place. Before we left, she asked if I am a local... ( I know I don't look local...) She told me that if I purchase a value of $250 and above, I'd be given a discount card etc... Which is a lifetime thingy but it will be so if its within 2mths of purchase. When I told her I might not be able to go there again, she looked a little disappointed. Hmmm... Or am I making stories up? That I do not know...

In the night, I had dinner with Kay and reached home rather late. I am tired but it was a good day spent... Hehehe... Hopefully, I can go down and see her again.. soon... Or get to know her as a friend... :)

posted by Calvin Chung @ 3:59 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Chain of events

Haha... As a result of tiredness and forgetfulness, I've forgotten some events which happened. I think I'll write down whatever I can remember...

15th Feb
Was supposed to meet up with Jasmine to go down to the hospital together to change my cast but alas, due to miscommunications, we waited for each other until the evening came... Was funny though. She called up and we decided to go out for awhile. Was suppose to go down to Heartland Mall aka Old Hougang central but I did not know it's called Kovan Mall now. Anyway, when I took a cab down, the taxi driver drove me down to Kovan centre. Sigh... waste of money. After I realized that I've gotten to the wrong place, I took another cab down to Kovan mall. Sigh... lesson learnt. Next time, got to make sure the driver knows the place; if not I must also know the place.

16th Feb
As my dad had to meet up with his superiors, he asked me to go and help my mum out. Gosh, this is the first time I managed to prepare most of the food and in the fastest time too! I am so happy. Hehehe... practice makes permanent. Business in the market was not that good due to the previous day's events. Therefore, at about 9am, my mum asked me to go back home.

When I reached home, I don't know why, I felt like praying for the rest of the day. It was an awesome time spending time with God. I felt so refreshed and peaceful. Prayed that the meeting my dad had is going to be a good one. Oh yes, my "god-sister" came to my place and stayed overnight. Now I know what I did... besides praying and doing my stuffs, updating my blogs, I slept after she left.

She had a nice rest while... I did not sleep a wink at all. Alright... I did... for an hour or so... I felt so cold sleeping on the floor while she slept on my bed... Sigh... I shall not complain. =) Jesus once said that when I do things onto other, I am like doing unto Him. So, I'm doing it for Him, nothing else.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 3:40 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Valentine's Day...

It's a lovey dovey day for most... For me, it's just a day to remember what Saint Valentine did when he was jailed. I can only remember part of it but not all of it...

Oh well, what a time it is today to spend this special day with someone special. Though I did not have a girlfriend, I did spend the day with someone special. Make a guess... Wrong... not the girls I've mentioned here at all but with the Creator of the World; God.

I dwelt in His presence and was comforted and also felt very peaceful. Indeed He gives peace which surpasses all understandings...

Actually, besides spending time, dwelling in His presence, I played computer games and also went out with Jasmine. Yup... but when I met her, it was like about 10pm. It was funny to be with her, talking and joking. Hehehe... Actually, Jessica was suppose to meet me but I guess... She forgot about wanting to meet me due to her busy schedule at work.

Oh yes, met Jasmine at Mr Beans and guess what? Nah... She did not become my girlfriend. She's a good friend of mine. However, I met up with the boss of Mr Beans. He is a very jovial man, in his mind 40's. What I can say about this man is that he's very humble, have a good sense of humour and is friendly. Maybe I need to look up to him and learn things from him in the future.. That's if he's willing to be my friend.

Time passes and it wasn't long before I knew that it's 2am. Man... I spent four hours there at Mr Beans. Never would have guessed that I would sit at a place and talk and talk non-stop. Gosh.. I guess I have really changed... Hopefully, for the better... Hahaha... So that next time, I would not be a bore to my future girlfriend cum wife...

Do feel bad whenever I go out with Jasmine. She's like paying for all... :( I don't want to be viewed as someone who would eat off someone's wealth... I want to prosper financially... :) So that, I can also give treats to people and also help the poor and needy in whatever they need.

posted by Calvin Chung @ 1:12 AM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Family Gathering

Ahhh... It's been a long time... Let me see... Since the death of my Grandmother (My Dad's Mum) that my relatives came to my place for visit. Let's see, since around 1997 I guess. (That's if I had not remembered wrongly) Relationship between them drifted and I don't feel as close to them at all.

Had a late night last night with Jasmine... Anyway, back to today's "story'...

Yup... I sort of disliked the idea of them coming over to my place and making those noises... IE: Playing mahjong and shouting and screaming at one another when they did not win etc... Well, that was several yeas back... I'm not sure what was to happen. But reflecting on the sermon preached by Pastor, I guess I got to let go of somethings and let God handle it. I am in no position to judge anyone too. To error is human...

The time came... 5:30pm, that everyone from my dad's side came. Hmm.. ok, not all but most of them. It's been so long since I last saw my favourite cousin and well, did wanted to see how he is going on. However, he sort of like lost the trust I once had in him. That's been years ago. Awww... Lets see how things progresses.

Was kind of surprised and felt uneasy when he came and talked to me. For a summary, he no longer became the most favourite cousin I once liked but just a normal cousin to me. Could see from my dad's eyes and expression that this was the day he was looking forward too. The noise and the joy etc... I am so glad for my dad. Though I know there are troubles within his heart but he's now overjoyed for the fact that everyone's getting along with one another. Seems like the prodigal son Jesus nce talked about but the difference is the people and the richesness. Haha...

Anyway, the perspective towards my aunties, uncles and cousins changed and I am no longer negative towards them. I do look forward to having a closer relationship with them so that I can one day also lead them to Christ. I am grateful towards God for the fact that though they meant it for evil, but God meant it good for me. I'm glad for this verse as though it's been years since I last saw my cousins but I can that God is behind these so that they would no longer despise my family members and me. Comparing what my cousins are doing, though the things I am doing are not as great but the fact that only 4 out of 20 of us are diploma holders. I'm glad to say my younger sister and myself are two of those who are diploma holders. Hehe... I'm a double diploma holder... Diploma in Theology and Diploma in Interior Design & Decorative Technics.

Not being proud or whatever but seriously, I thank God for helping me gain what I have today. Without Him, I'd not know where would I have been.

Back to my "story" lol... I always side track for awhile... Please pardon me.

While my dad was playing mahjong with my aunties, my younger brother, playing UNO with my little cousin and aunt, I slipped out of the house to meet up with Mag. Went to catch "I do I Do". A local production. The show contains meaning but... Kind of let me down... Maybe I expected too much of it...

After the show, Mag and I were the last few who left the theatre. However, when we left, Mag left her hangbag in the theatre. Sigh... Glad that most of her belongings were intact but only one were lost... Her handphone. Felt sad for her... Sigh... I don't know who took it but God knows. He will not let the person off for free...

One thing about Mag is that she's nice and petitte but.. I find her a little naggy but fun to be with... Heehee...

posted by Calvin Chung @ 5:33 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Felt dull today

It's been sometime since I last felt this way. I felt rather dull and empty especially when I was in Church. Felt I did something wrong...

After Pastor preached, I know what is wrong. Haha... I guess I am getting more and more "flaky" nowadays. Seems like God is speaking to me each and every day. A little frightening or am I just trying to run away from the mistakes I had made?

Calvin did not turn up for service. Tried to contact him but he did not switch on his phone and what a let down to the sisters in cell. Thank God that Sister Gillian's stuffs are with me. If not, they will be really let down if we did not prepare anything for them. (Especially when they prepared something for us for Valentine's day. We did prepare something but Calvin; Aka Kaka did not turn up)

Anyway, I thank God for the strength He's given to me to present the gift to Sister Gillian. I had some misunderstanding with her earlier on in the week and was suppose to be "counselled" by her but did not as I had to attend a farewell party for WeiMay.

She's leaving on the 15th this month. Sigh... One good friend going overseas to study. Seems to be having this trend in my life. Whenever I find someone nice or a good friend, he/she will leave me. When he/she comes back, the relationship will not be as strong as before. I really am a little afraid of making good friends... :( Or falling for someone... It's far too much for me... (Maybe I'm too weak)

Met up with Ian and ChengYu (If I did not get it wrong) to attend WeiMay's farewell party. Though it took sometime to reach but it was worth it. This was because when we have reached the BBQ site, we were offered food by some residents and those were not bad food. The food was rather good. I enjoyed myself there... Especially when I had the attention... LOL... Cause of my bandaged leg. This is what I called unwanted attention. They focus their attentions on me that sigh... I felt kind of bad.

At first, I thought I'd not know anyone there at the farewell party but was glad to see my friend, Jason and some Church friends like Jessel, Gavin and his girlfriend, Reagan etc... Kind of felt regretful for not joining that cell group then. Maybe it's good that I never joined too. If not, I'd felt very pressured with so many University graduates there. I would have felt very little then...

I felt the warmth of the cell group members... Especially when a girl came and talked to me. Haha... I felt shy when she came to talk to me. Tired my best not to talk much but managed to know her name...

At the end of the day, the entire farewell party was fun and interesting. After which it ended at about 11pm. Was supposed to go home but went to meet up with Jasmine for coffee. It was funny though... This was the second time I went out with her and well... it was ok but she got to meet her friend... Which was an hour or so after I met up with her. Haha... At least after the match which Liverpool... ermm... played? :)

posted by Calvin Chung @ 2:17 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Friday, February 11, 2005

Updatings...

Wow... time and tide waits for no man, this saying is so real and true. It's been more than a week since I last updated my blog... Sigh... Where can I start from? Saturday till what happened today?

Ah.. a quick summery... I'll do my best...

Saturday:
Was another experience with God and I enjoyed the entire service. Was supposed to wait for Aaron to get to service but he did not turned up. Oh well, what can I say? He woke up late and did not attend the service with me...

I spent about two hundred on some CD's and books. Man, now I know why I brought so much to Church. Hmmm... really interesting preaching by Rev John Bevere. Ways of drawing near to God. Well, I wanted to attend more than a service but... Circumstances did not allowed me to.

Was rather put off by Derrek but well, I can't blame him at all. Miscommunications happen and I guess, at the end of the day, ChengHao did not expected things to turn out this way and sigh... What's done is done. What can I do but to stay cool the next time?

Felt kind of "dead" within my heart in serving in the cell. I am not giving up on God or anything but serving a cell which is not cooperative or informations which does not get passed around, what can I do? Sigh... Should I or should I not give up? God, direct my path...

Sunday:
ChengHao, Calvin Chan, Ron, Rickson, Desmond and JingJie came to my place to prepare something for my fellow cell members. It was a wonderful time spent together. Ron was the earliest, then came ChengHao etc... All I can say was that we had a wonderful time spending time with one another.

After doing the things for some cell members, Desmond and JingJie Bugis with ChengHao and me. We went shopping for my Chinese New Year clothings but before that, we went around Bugis... Sigh... With me "hopping" around with my one leg and all that, it was rather tiring but fun. What I dislike most was that people were like looking at me as if I were some Aliens "walking".. wrong... hopping around Bugis junction and from MRT stations to another. Was rather uneasy feeling to have people's attentions.

Was gald that I did not have to go around running from one area to another area to get my clothings. I managed to get most of my clothings at Bugis. Went down to Orchard after my trip to bugis together with ChangChin. It was really fun fellowshipping with Desmond, Ron, Rickson, ChangChin and JingJie. I was glad that God used me to encourage , Ron, Rickson and JingJie to grow stronger in God and to pray longer. It was soon that Desmond told me that he had a better experience with God after heeding to what I told him to try out. Ron, JingJie and Rickson said the same to me too. Thank God for using what I have been through to bless them.

Monday:
This was the longest Monday I've ever had. Woke up at about 7am and went to help out with my parents in the market. I helped them out till the eve of Chinese New Year. That means till Tuesday and rested at about 6pm in the evening. It was a long day but it was great to be of help with my parents.

Things around me seems to be falling down. First, had a little tiff with ChengHao, next, with my younger brother. All of which, by the grace of God, did not go for the worse but went better and better instead. I was really thankful to Him for helping me out.

After helping out in the market, I went straight home and JingJie smsed me and asked me out. To go shopping. I want to get a pair of shoes but was made fun by Ron an JingJie. What friends I have? Haha... It was funny though cause the salesgirl who sold Ron shoes were on my side. Which I really thank God for. Hehe...

After buying shoes, they accompanied me down to Singapore general Hospital whereby I wanted to get my cast changed. My cast is cracking and sigh... I can't take it anymore. When I reached A&E, they said they do not have the cast I wanted. All they have were those which are really heavy and ugly. Sigh... Dejected and tired... I went straight home and slept like a log. The total sales for the Eve of Chinese New Year were only 1.5k, at most. Last year, it was like $3k. Difference was the time spent over there.. Sigh... I sinned by presuming for more and did not ask God to help... Anyway, will not take God for granted the next time... I repent.

Wednesday:
First day of Chinese New Year was ok. I wanted to stay at home the entire day but my mom managed to pursuade me to get to my grandfather's place. Reluctantly, I went but I was glad I went. Managed to see my cousins and aunties. It's been like a year since I last saw them... Was a nice feeling to be there but... this time, I can't walk around much.

After visiting my grandfather (he forgot to give my entire family red-packets) sigh... I was "forced" to go to my auntie's place. Well, it's the first time I saw her after like... ten whole years! Family problems of the past and before I reached there... I threw temper against my parents. Sigh... I know I am wrong and do not have any excuses for doing that. I was really frustrated when I was being "pushed" to catch up with my parents and siblings. I was so dead tired and was panting away, trying to catch my breathe when they kept asking me to catch up with them... Sigh... What can I say? What a way to start my "New" Year with God...

Before that, I received an email from Sister Gillian, my cell leader. Sigh... after reading it, I felt so wronged and so unhappy. I guess I've overdone some things and said too much over the email. Anyway, will face whatever that is being thrown back to me... =(

Thursday:
Second day of Chinese New Year. It was a real exciting day. Went out with Priscilla and talked to her for some time and travelled to a number of places. Had a wonderful time with her. Haha... Watched Seoul Riders with her. It was a funny show, added with some action packs too. It was a nice show...

After the show, I went home and called for pizza. Hawaiian style, yummy! I invited Jasmine over to my place to share the pizza with me. This is the first time I see her. Haha... I don't know why I did that too. One thing for sure was that it wasn't for any hanky panky stuffs.

She looked bored and I suggested that we go Bishan to watch Constantine. A show which I wanted to watch for sometime but did not find anyone and Priscilla wanted some chinese show... Sigh... If I knew that I would be going over again with Jasmine, I'd not have gone home... Waste of cab fares.

The show, Constantine, is very good in effects but for story line wise, I find that it was rather crappy and rubbish! I really doubt they understood what the bible means etc... A sheer crappy show with rubbish contents but good effects. All I can say is that can watch but not believe kind of show. The passion of Christ is a much better flim to watch though.

Overall, it was a nice time spent with these two girls. Hmm... hope to be able to get to know them better and well, if God's willing, I'll lead them to Him once more. For Priscilla, I'd want to stir her up to love God more and for Jasmine, I'd like her to be more opened in her mind and not be so troubled with things happening in her life. Especially with her friends in her work place. Also, for Jasmine to know God and what He did for her on the cross. I was glad that I was able to explain to her some stuffs...

Noticed something about Jasmine... She smell very nice! Nice perfume... Haha... I did not smell her but it's the smell I smelt while she was in front of me. I smelt the same nice fragrance while she was beside me while watching Constantine. So... don't get me wrong..

posted by Calvin Chung @ 3:09 AM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

God spoke

Woke up after dreaming about Andreas and Bro Suraj. Haha... I dreamt that I have a car and was driving it. It was a rather unstable car. I don't know what it meant... Sigh... Maybe should not think too much.

Oh ya, when I woke up, I felt His presence and prayed. Felt God said to me... "Calvin, I have heard your prayers and I am pleased. Now, only be faithful and I will grant you the desires of your heart."

Faithful... What does it mean? Does it refers to the thoughts I had yesterday? Faithful in the little things and be faithful to God, not to have any "mixtures" relationships? To be faithful in my walk with Him etc?

First thought was my walk with Him. Just as what the title of my blog is. Walking with God the entire year onwards. Walking a Holy walk, watching what I say, what I do etc...

It sounds so simple, yet not easy. I am going to believe in God for it to happen. Interesting about God is that when He spoke, I felt His presence more tangibliy. Must not smash off this walk with Him and be led away by the evil one. Must pray everyday and not be anxious but in everything pray in the Spirit... Then I would be kept away. Guarding my mind like a Soilder, training and fighting everyday. Faithful like a farmer, always doing the things given to me. Planting seeds, watering and being productive. A Teacher, teaching others about the Word of God and doing research about what God's word says and finaly, a preacher of His word. Bringing the Good News to all mankind. Regardless if they like it or not. If they rejects, I'll do what His words say. To shake my feet's dust off the ground of their lives and go on doing what I am commanded to do... :)

posted by Calvin Chung @ 2:05 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Lohan Fish??? Nah... It's Lindsay Lohan...

Gosh... I'm so excited today. Ok... First, don't get me wrong on the Lohan fish/ Lindsay Lohan but I am getting more inspirations to do things and hopefully, this will not be short term but on the long term basis. If it is, then, it'll be awesome. I'd be doing more things and using lesser time as well as being more creative.

I'm getting a hang on playing the guitar, though not very good yet or to the stage of advance or whatever but am improving. I guess I'm loving my beloved guitar. Hopefully, I can soon sell it and get an acoustic one.

These couple of days, I had wonderful rest. On Monday, I slept like a log. Slept almost a whooping 13-15hrs. From sunday evening 5pm till monday morning abt 11pm. Felt so refreshed. Alright, shall not side track for now.

Back to today's "routine". Woke up at about 7am and started praying for the rest of the day. It's really FUN to pray and be in the presence of God. Lifting up the entire day up to my beloved Heavenly Father's hands. It's the best thing ever in my life. Prayed for such long time that I dont' even feel like stopping but thanks to my sore throat. It got so dried up that I have to stop... It ended like about 90minutes for the entire session with God. Then I did my daily devotion. It was really good. Helped me in thinking what I want to do and reminded me to. To be Faithful in the little things... I believe that this is the word God wants me to work on. The area to develop on. I believe that if I am faithful in the little, God will surely give me the desires of my heart.

After spending time with God, I actually played guitar for a whole 3-5hrs. Not sure how long was it but I felt refreshed.

Spring cleaning
Well, the time of the year is here. Yup, to clean up. Finally, I stopped procastinating and started to clean up my room. It's been like some 4-6 months since I last cleaned my room. I was rather fruitful in cleaning up my room and am glad about it. While cleaning my room, I was listening to songs by Lindsay Lohan, Evanescence etc... Gosh... am falling for their songs. I simply love the song, Rumours, by Lindsay Lohan...

While listening to Evanescence's "My Immortal", it brings me memories, especially when I accidently came across a photo taken some time back with YuNing. Do miss her a little but... What's over is over. Images of the past ran through my mind and I thank God that I am stronger in Him. Am not going to let my past torture me and fall into depression.

It's another fruitful day for me today. Who says that I cannot do much when I am home? I managed to do alot of things and get so busy that I am feeling worn out now.

Oh yes, had a rather good surprise...Mag gave me a call and asked me how was I. Haha... I thought that it was rather sweet to have someone calling me up and ask me how am I doing and how's my leg. However things took for a change when she asked me to help her see if there's any movies showing till late midnight. Sigh... But it was kind of funny... I mean, the entire event... At least she called up and asked how was I... Haha... Anyway, she did asked me out but there wasn't any shows so... did not go out with her. Oh well, is it time for me to get attached? :) Wahah...

YAH!! Forgot about this. About my Mirc. Not pretty sure what's going on with my Mirc program. All of sudden, it got crazy and started to auto log in and out. Sigh... What's going on... Felt like singing... "And I say hey... yeh.... ye... ye eh... Hey ye... ye... I say hey.... What's going on"... :)

Hope that things will go on well for me and... that my parents will receive Christ soon. They are so harden in their hearts. Sigh... Got to pray like never before. I want to see them saved and that they begin to soften their stoned heart. They are so religious yet they refused to listen to what is Jesus about. Yet they complained about why are they working so hard and not having the income... enough for them to spend... Why are they always living a life of lack etc... I mean... sigh... If they knew what Jesus of Nazareth is about and how God can bless the entire household, then they'll not complain but trust in God and pray for breakthroughs... :( How I wish I am like Joseph... That whatever I place my hands into, it will prosper... And as a result, bringing my family financial breakthrough, just like how Joseph brought to Egypt when he was there...

Oh yes, about Lindsay Lohan... Now then I know who she is after I heard her song... and After watching Mean girls. Haha... I did not know who she was when I watched Mean Girls, only to remember that she looked rather pretty. =) When I heard her song (Not knowing who she is and how she looked like) I was impressed with her voice. Unique and nice... Rumours... =) Nah... not gonna idolize her but MIGHT support her in her songs or listen to her songs...

posted by Calvin Chung @ 10:30 PM   0 Comments


Email me: calvin.othniel@gmail.com